The purpose of a wedding is to mark the start of a marriage, so it is important to decide what, in the Asatru context, a marriage is.
Marriage can be seen (in part) as a cooperative economic endeavour. In the old days, the marriage (and the household, the farm, whatever) was a business. It was also seen as a commitment to produce and support children.
Traditionally marriage was basically a civil contract, not only involving two individuals but also their families and the community--the community witnessed it, and the people concerned were expected to function as a unit within that community. If the marriage didn't work out, however, there were ways this could be dealt with, and all kinds of regulations about property and such. The contract conveyed obligation on both parties (and their families) but not necessarily the obligation to live together lifelong.
Marriage provides a framework for community support, both for the new couple and when the children come along.
If a religious community gets involved in marriage at all, in the form of having someone from the community conduct a ceremony to "solemnize" it, then the marriage needs to mean something more than that two people will be shacking up until whenever. Insisting that the couple make their commitments conscious and substantial helps strengthen the marriage; bringing the community together to recognize and accept the marriage helps strengthen it. The community should also help support the marriage, by encouragement and by continuing after the ceremony to bear witness to the commitments made.
At a wedding, we ask the Gods and Goddesses to bless and aid the marriage, and witness it. (They were, and are, part of that "community", mentioned above). But they don't make it is the sense of destining people for each other. And breaking it wasn't and isn't a "sin".
I call this kind of involvement generally "Charming of the Plow": informing the god(s) of a new endeavor and asking for whatever help they can give you. But you would have the same religious aspect to a new business, a new house, or a new school year (although a marriage should be longer-lasting than the school year).
Christians have introduced the notion of wedding vows or oaths into our wider society. It is very common to incorporate oath-swearing into modern Asatru wedding ceremonies as well. There is certainly no religious or esoteric basis for objection, particularly since we perceive so much overlap between contracts (whose terms you may well swear to uphold) and oaths (which should be deliberate and carefully composed). Do keep in mind that, traditionally, the marriage contract was much looser than the oath of blood-siblinghood.
It is difficult to tell the people what their marriage should be or what commitments they should make, however, because decent marriages can take all kinds of shapes. It is important to think the whole business out before the marriage starts.
What is the purpose of having a public wedding ceremony? "[T]o establish yourselves as a public and dignified unit in the society in which you move" as Miss Manners puts it.
With that in mind, what does a "religious wedding ceremony" mean the Asatru context?
Announce the contract and its terms in front of witnesses. Announce the marriage at the Althing, at the law rock, or find some other suitable large, public gathering.
Often (but not necessarily) uses symbols of the contract terms, such as exchange of swords or keys. Any contract or vow gets woven into wyrd, which is usually (but not necessarily) symbolized by making the deal over some good hooch and then drinking the hooch. If the ceremony incorporates oaths, swear them on an oath ring or wedding rings.
Invite god(s) to act as witnesses. "Charm the plow and bless the fields": ask the god(s) to bless / help the new endeavor (e.g. fertility, prosperity, harmony).
Do all the above with suitable embellishments and declaiming. Have some kind of master of ceremonies to keep things going. Look after beginning, middle, end. Include a blot and/or sumbel. Etc.
Last Modified 13 May 2003.
Comments to Manny Olds, oldsma@pobox.com